


To begin another day

by Lyssa2412



Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Friends With Benefits, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 22:24:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20664782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyssa2412/pseuds/Lyssa2412
Summary: Is to begin another heartbreak.





	To begin another day

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in a day and felt quite proud about it so here it is aaa  
All thanks to this song uwu: https://youtu.be/pnWFghAQ2FY

I hate mirrors.

I hate looking at mirrors in the morning. The reflection is always messy, tired and weak, not at all the image I want to see, or even have of myself. But you can’t get ready without looking at them: that is the only way to see what to adjust and what to hide.

_ Like this hickey, over… here. _

It has been there for, I don’t know, a week? More than that, certainly. All I know is that he loved the place. Kissing, biting, sucking, he did whatever he could think of to it. That’s a part of our little  _ activities,  _ isn’t it? Pleasing the other, and let the other please you. As simple as ABC. And as long as neither of us want anything more than that.

As long as neither of us have these  _ unnecessary feelings. _

Lately, he had been flirting with me a lot. At first, it seemed like a joke, an uncomfortable joke to fill the awkward silence that was always between us after a night spending together. But then I began to doubt. The more cheesy words came from his mouth, the more I doubted. He is not good with words, I have to admit, but he is just not the type to joke about this.

Ah.

I  _ hate _ Vampire.

I hate the man for giving me too much hope and too many  _ unnecessary  _ feelings.

_ Complicated, confusing, nameless feelings. _

I get out of the toilet, as I’m done getting ready for work. Vampire is still sleeping soundly in my bed and might not wake up any time soon. He seems comfortable hugging that pillow of mine while thinking it is me. The sight of the redhead sleeping calms me down, so I sit onto the bed next to him, and as usual, I put the spare key into his pocket. For a moment, I have no intend to leave this place until he wakes up. I don’t even have the mood to go to work. But that is just my feelings at the time. I can never manage my feelings whenever I’m with him.

For a friend, he is  _ too _ warm and peaceful to be with.

No, I can’t have any feelings toward him, or even hope for him to feel the same about me. Not like this.

I know too well that he cannot, and  _ must not,  _ like me, even just a little bit. I am a problematic person, I will cause him much trouble. And what if I can’t give him what he deserves? He deserves someone who can make him happy. Someone better. Unlike me.

I stand up and reach for my box of cigarettes. Take one, light it, and…

“Sparky.”

“I’m here.”

I quickly reply and turn around, only to see that the other person still hasn’t woken up. Maybe that was just my imagination. Maybe he only wanted to call my name in his sleep. Nothing special. Nothing special.

But then, why  _ me? _

That question alone made me embarrassed. Because I just let myself think so much about it, and because I was too stupid, too forgetful to realize that even if he had actually said so, it would only be something normal.

_ We called each other’s name a lot in bed. _

_ We kissed each other a lot in bed. _

_ We flirted with each other a lot in bed. _

_ We even pretended to act like lovers in bed. _

Yet those were just  _ acts,  _ and acts didn’t need to be true. Besides, what we did was only for the temporary sensation: overthinking about that would result in nothing but false hopes. We both know that. We both remember it by heart. And I guess I have always been the more cautious one, trying hard not to think about any intimacy between us. But at the same time, I’m still hoping.

_ I am hopeless, aren’t I? _

I put the cigarette back into the box. Work is more important for now. Fixing my bowtie for the last time, I walk out of the room, not forgetting to lock the door.

And begin another day.


End file.
